An Altar

In Genesis, Abraham was instructed to build an altar to commemorate various significant events in the history of the Nation of Israel. This is my attempt at doing that for myself and my family.

Over the past 18-24 months, it became clear to me that Avaya was going to continually diminish the staff and funding of the project I was on. Furthermore, I became increasingly disenchanted with the organization and direction of the company and angry at the deception. They have 7 strategic outcomes that they put on the employee home page. The first is that Avaya will be known as a company that people want to work for and have world class people. This strategy is very much a statement for the employee's to feel good about Avaya and there is nothing in the culture or personnel policies to support it. Quite the contrary. Many of the policies are destructive to morale and as a person who voiced concern about these, I was clearly labeled a "non-team" player.

Some of you will read the previous line and assume that I was obnoxious and a pain. I assure you that my interface with those below me was to support the company policies and defend them as best I could. Also, while I did voice my concerns, I did it in the most respectful way I new how and offered positive, constructive suggestions.

Unfortunately, the only forum open to me was email. I tried discussing this with various HR representatives. They would politely listen to me and put up a lame attempt at justifying the policies. When I pressed and it was clear that the policy was a problem, they would politely agree to "take it to a higher manager". When I would question them later, it was clear that they had blown me off. It was also apparent that they were afraid to bring it up to their managers. Truly AFRAID. Everywhere I turned, folks were afraid to question the policies.

Other Directors had sent email too, but my direct style worked against me.

The dwindling funding for my project and the HR policies eventually lead me to seriously question if I should stay at Avaya.

Let me back up a bit. Prior to Avaya, I was working at Acer. At Acer, I was careful not to leave the job until God told me to. I decided that the problems I had at Acer would follow me to any job and so rather than hop from job to job, I'd let the Lord guide me. Eventually, through some very specific and (in hindsight) direct signs, the Lord led me to Octel - which was bought by Lucent and spun off to Avaya.

At Christmas '03, I was questioning what I should do at Avaya. I knew that God had orchestrated my going to Octel and therefore my being at Avaya. So, I was confident that He could make it clear that He wanted me to leave. At Christmas, I decided to try looking for another job. Remember, the job market in early '04 was bad and had been bad for about 2 years.

I tried to write a resume and contact a few people I knew. Truthfully, it was difficult to summon the energy and awkward because I didn't want my employee's to know that I was looking. After all, how could I encourage them to press on with the work while I was looking to bail!

Around March, I was praying to God that I had not been as faithful to the job search as I should and that since it was so difficult, I would stay at Avaya unless He sent me a very clear sign that I should go. Shortly afterward, they hired a new VP of R&D. A series of events made it undeniably clear that I was not going to be included as a Director in his new organization. My first meeting with him ended with him telling me that he had too many directors and that, while he didn't know how things would work out, he wanted me to know that there was a possibility that I would not have a spot in his organization. In shock, I told him that when he knew one way or the other, he should let me know.

I shared this with some of my peers and they said that it wasn't as bad as I thought and not to panic. So, I renewed my job hunting efforts for a while. A few months later, again my efforts had dwindled. One morning, before I got out of bed, I was praying and confessed to the Lord that I had not been diligent. I asked for motivation to do a better job looking for a new job.

By 10am that morning, I had been laid off.

Wow, talk about answers to prayer! Talk about motivation!

Reflecting on the clear signs that accompanied my journey and eventual departure from Avaya, I am very convinced that I am in God's hands. I told the kids that I felt like I was in a treasure hunt. I have the map but I don't know exactly where I'm going or how long it will take to get there. Still, I am very confident that I will get there and this confidence is the greatest gift that I could receive. I am free to enjoy looking for a job since I know that I will be taken care of. I know there is a treasure awaiting me. I just have to find it!

UPDATE

Six months later, I found the job that God had been preparing for me. I am at a small company doing the kind of work that I like. Thank you Lord.